The Autopsy of Jane Doe (8/10)


We open with police arriving at the scene of a multiple homicide in Grantham, Virginia. After surveying the scene and finding several people dead from considerable violence, the sheriff is summoned to the basement, where forensics techs have discovered the nude body of a young woman, partially buried in the dirt floor. The sheriff take Jane Doe to the local  morgue, run by a father (played by the always-great Brian Cox) and his son (played by some guy), interrupting the son’s plans for a hot date with a chick that likes to look at corpses. At first, the corpse seems immaculate, but the father and son team soon finds bizarre and disturbing internal injuries. As they dig deeper, a storm rolls in and strange things begin to happen in the creepy and labyrinthine old morgue.

First off, kudos to Olwen Kelly for laying around nude and dead for most of the movie and not even looking like she was cold; that’s some fine work right there. This was very good, with a great old-school vibe and lots of creepy and atmospheric moments. There were, however, a couple of things that kept it from being great. Without going into too much detail, I will say that it went a bit heavy on foreshadowing a couple of things, and there was a bit of exposition that seemed unnecessary and smacked a bit of political agenda. Other than those minor missteps, this is a fine effort. I don’t think it quite lives up to the hype that it has gotten, but it’s still well done and certainly worth a watch. Also, nice boobs, even if they were dead.

Advertisements

The Good Neighbor (8/10)

mv5bmje4mdkwntu1nf5bml5banbnxkftztgwotmwmdg2ote-_v1_

A couple of teenage douchebags decide to conduct an “experiment” on their cranky old neighbor (perfectly portrayed by James Caan) by outfitting his house with surveillance cameras and electronic gizmos designed to make him believe he is being haunted. Unfortunately, he’s already haunted by his past, and things absolutely do not go as planned.

This is definitely a “the less you know, the better” type of movie, so I’m not going to give any more detail on the plot. Suffice it to say, this is more of a multi-layered drama than a horror movie, and it is very successful in what it sets out to achieve. Highly recommended. And James Caan is freakin’ excellent.

Choose (5/10)

mv5bmtc4oti2mdgzm15bml5banbnxkftztcwmjazndy3na-_v1_sy1000_cr006731000_al_

Basically Sophie’s Choice: Special Serial Killer Edition. Intense opening scene where a teenager is forced by a home invader to choose between killing her mom or her dad. Dad volunteers to get it in the chest of course (yay disposable men!) Cut to plucky young reporter with bigly sweater monkeys and a cop dad. She’s hot… on the trail of the You-Choose-You-Lose Killer. And apparently she smells like apples according to random creepy guy. More choices, more dead or disfigured victims. Soon the trail leads back to something from the killer’s past that ties all the random victims together.

This is mostly a police procedural, though somewhat light on police and procedure. And the investigating is really just running down some clues from the Forced Dichotomy Boogeyman, who turns out to be a whiny little bitch. And, to add insult to injury, the monkeys stay in the sweater. Overall, watchable but nothing you haven’t seen before, assuming you’ve watched some movies that are similar to this one.