Tall Men (7/10)

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Terrence Mackleby is an earnest but not-so-bright man who may have killed his girlfriend when he was a boy. He is now a grown-up who works at a warehouse with Lucy the wallflower, Edith the conspiracy theorist, and Lee, who plays cribbage and is creeped out by the conspiracy theorist after making the mistake of sleeping with her. Terrence has just declared bankruptcy due to his overwhelming credit card debt. After going on a date with Lucy the wallflower, he receives an offer for a special credit card with a 4% interest rate, which he gets and uses to buy a new car. Soon after, he starts seeing shadowy tall men following him, and he is fired from his job by his boss, who is sporting some new bruises on his face. To add to his desperate situation, he learns that the terms of his new credit card are not what they seem, and he starts to see and hear some really strange things.

While this is a little slow, and certainly over-long at 2 hours and 13 minutes, it’s still an entertaining slice of whimsical dark humor. The atmosphere is stylish, the acting is good, and the concept is original. Worth a watch for those that enjoy a more cerebral, psychological horror film.

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Bleed (6/10)

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A pregnant girl is driving on the back roads of the small town her and her metrosexual husband just moved to and gets a flat tire. The friendly beardy sheriff is happy to help her out, but after changing her tire he notices a distinctive birthmark on her neck and has a warning for her that things may not be as safe out here in the country as they seem. They invite their demographically-correct friends from the city over to check out their birthing room, because that’s what the young people do. Preggo’s brother and slutty girlfriend also show up unannounced, and turns out they’re amateur ghost hunters, which will be relevant later. So, the friends and husband go off to explore a nearby abandoned (and haunted, of course) prison while Preggers goes for a drive and flips her SUV after seeing a ghost girl, and the brother’s slutty girlfriend gets ghost-raped maybe and the brother gets his throat slit but maybe doesn’t. It seems that all these happenings are somehow related to events in the brother and sister’s past, and the strange birthmark on her neck, and the brother is determined to ferret out the secrets of the local hayseeds, no matter how many times he has to get his throat maybe slit. Hint: It’s all about the baby.

Yeah, so, I don’t really have much else to say. This was well made and pretty good, but no boobs, even when the slutty girlfriend was taking a bath. I mean, why put a slutty girlfriend in a bathtub if you’re not going to show her boobs? It’s political correctness gone mad, I say. Anywho, your life will not be worse for having seen it, but it probably won’t be better either.