Chopping Mall (7/10)

The Park Plaza mall has just brought its new Protectors robot security program online, and promised “Don’t worry. Nothing can possibly go wrong.” So we now how that’s going to go. The way it goes is a freak lightning storm that scrambles the brains of the Killbots. Or does it? Yeah, it does. I’m not sure why I asked that. Coincidentally, some guys that work at the furniture store are planning an after-hours party with the food court girls. As you may have guessed, mayhem ensues. Fortunately, this is the 80s, so the mall has a gun store, and our spunky kids are able to arm themselves and fight back!

God I love the 80s. They really knew what you need in a horror movie back then: Killer robots, lasers, electrocutions, oddly colored fake blood, exploding heads, flame-throwers, and boobs. Lots and lots of boobs. Well, maybe not lots ands lots, but it’s not a paucity. Anywho, this is a semi-classic Roger Corman 80s movie featuring some familiar faces — including Barbara Crampton (boobs!) and Kelli Maroney, and cameos from Mary Woronov, Dick Miller, and Paul Bartel. And the Killbots are actually pretty cool. It’s not the best the decade has to offer, but it’s not bad either. Worth a watch for nostalgia and boobs, if nothing else.

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